August 29, 2008

Hearing God: my challenge II

"But I thought you heard God?"

After my father asked me the above question, 'God said' became two heavy words that I find difficult to say. I only dare use those words after what I heard has happened. Then I would begin to testify boldly. After my father's question, I took a break from hearing God. You may ask did God allow me to take a break. I think not. I realized he was still speaking and so I began to obey once again.

The journey of hearing God has not been bread and butter. Several incidences happened afterward in which I thought I heard God but the events did not happened as I supposedly heard. I found myself getting more and more discouraged. I took several breaks from hearing from God and obeying until the year 10th March 2005 when I received instruction from God that if he gives me his word I should write it down. Indeed, this was God coming to my rescue to deliver me from frustrations. So from then I got a book and began to write down God's word to me. I must confess here that I do not write all but writing down his words to me has helped a great deal.

Whenever the word comes to pass, I go to where I had written it and put down the date it happened as well as the words 'He did it'. If it did not happen, I wrote such words like 'failed', 'it did not happen' or stated what happened in place of what I heard. On 23rd June, 2007, I wrote in the same book, 'it appears hearing God is still a battle but I am not giving up'. It was a major step in my journey of hearing God for me to get to this point. I no longer take breaks or fall out with God when things do not happen as I supposedly heard.

August 9, 2008

Hearing God: my challenge

My first experience at hearing God and obeying the supposed word was embarrassing if not devastating. About eighteen years ago, before I took the entrance examination into the university, I was to indicate my 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices of universities on the application form. I prayed about and wrote down the universities in the order I heard (or thought I heard). My parents were surprised at my first choice to which I replied that it was God's instruction to me. It is usually not easy for anyone to argue with one who God has given instruction. Even if you doubt that God actually spoke to the person but you are left with the choice of waiting for the fulfillment of the word. So my parents did not insist otherwise.

I submitted the forms, took the examination and when the result came out, I did not meet the entrance mark for the university I chose as first choice. It was bad enough that I was wondering what had gone wrong? At that time I was still a novice in the acts and ways of God. It was worse that I was pondering and wondering if I actually heard God concerning my first choice university. It was worst and crippling when my father asked "But I thought you said you heard from God!"

August 5, 2008

My Perceived Mandate

I have been having the nudge to have an online journal of my dealings in God. I must confess I have been dragging my feet but it came so strong last month. So I turned to God and said "Alright Father, if it will glorify you, then I accept. But what will the title of the blog be?" I heard "Havilah." I did not know the meaning of havilah and so I set out the same day to find out its meaning. I found out havilah was a place of good gold and had other gems such as onyx and bdellium. Havilah signifies abundance, great wealth, the free flowing lifeforce of God which streams into the mineral Kingdom (the earth).

It is my belief that God desires to reveal to each visitor to this blog, the riches in Him. We struggle through our trials, not understanding that they are to enrich us and draw us closer to God. However, God understands our frailty and is ever patient, waiting for us to attend to what he reveals so that we can be blessed.

This blog is not about theories but about a lady's ups and downs in her walk with God and how all have worked and is working together for her good. It is my belief that it will encourage you to trust God and your encounters with Him.