November 13, 2008

Approved

It can be quite challenging trying to believe God despite all odds. When one is at one's wits end and it is obvious there is no place to go to, God remains your only option. Then you make a deliberate effort to kick out doubt and trust God who has spoken into your situation.

I had a trying time writing a proposal for my postgraduate study. After I had spent four months writing on a research area, struggling to write it just the way my supervisor wanted, he suggested a change of topic. Initially, I dreaded changing the topic because I was considering the efforts, time, eye aches, headaches and sleepless nights I had put in. However after much deliberation, I accepted to change my topic, spent three strenuous months writing and I submitted. I submitted at the last minute on the last day of submission against all odds. This was because it had to be just as my supervisor desired. Even up to the last day of submission, we were still making corrections.

The next hurdle was the proposal defense where it will either be approved or revision required or rejected. For someone who has spent almost the whole year writing a proposal, I was a bit apprehensive coupled with the impression I was given about the defense. I was told that the assessors do not hesitate to dismiss a proposal. I was made to rehearse my presentation a number of times. Though it was good for me to be prepared but I began to think that it was not in how prepared I was. It was in God granting me favour before the assessors. So I started praying:

"Father, You know am tired and bored with proposal writing and I want to move on to the next hurdle. However, the outcome of the defense determines the next step. I sincerely desire that the proposal be approved"

As I prayed, I saw a paper. I did not see clearly what was written on it but I did see that the word 'approved' was boldly stamped across it. I got up, believing that indeed the proposal had been approved. So I deliberately kept playing the picture over and over until the time to meet the assessors drew near. This helped me a great deal to relieve tension and to kick out doubt.

The presentation went well and apart from a minor correction, the proposal was indeed approved.

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